Forgive and forget, its a lot easier to say than to do. When our spouses do something to wound us deeply, can we ever truly forgive them? And if we do forgive them, can we ever forget the pain they've caused us?

I'm Dr. James Dobson with Focus on the Family. I read an almost unbelievable newspaper article the other day about a married couple both in their late 70's. The wife, who was wheelchair bound, was charged for badly beating her husband in the head with her bed pan. The reason she gave? She said she had committed adultery in the 1940's in the earliest years of their marriage. She testified that her husband had constantly taunted her about her indiscretion until some 50 years later, she could take it no longer. Now maybe her husband had told her at one time that he forgave her and that he didn't want to leave her, but though he said the words, its obvious that there was no real forgiveness. Now, listen to this. Dr. Archibald Hart once said, "Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me." I think that's one of the most profound definitions of forgiveness I've ever heard. Its only when we've truly given up the right to retaliate, that we've truly forgiven. One more time, forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. This is Dr. James Dobson for Focus on the Family.

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