Mystique In Marriage

Most marriage counselors emphasize communication as THE foundation for a healthy relationship, and yet there can be a downside to this policy of baring all with the one you love.

I'm Dr. James Dobson with Focus on the Family.

Let me quickly say that I firmly believe couples who communicate openly have a much better chance of succeeding in marriage. But any good idea can be taken to it's extremity - where the net effect is negative.

For example, it's honest for a man to tell his wife that he hates her cellulite, or varicose veins, or the way she cooks. It's honest for a woman to dump her anger on her husband, constantly berating him for his shortcomings and failure. But honesty that does not have the best interest of the other person at heart is really a cruel form of selfishness. Especially when the other person can't help the characteristic being criticized.

Some couples in their determination to share every thought and opinion, systematically destroy the sweet spark of romance that once drew them together. No longer is there any sense of mystique in their relationship. They've unraveled the romantic allure that made them love one another in the first place.

Now I'm not suggesting that you begin to deliberately deceive your husband or wife. I am recommending, however, that you leave something to be discovered along the way and occasionally let your anger and frustration cool down just a bit before you pour it on an unsuspecting partner in the name of honesty.

This is Dr. James Dobson for Focus on the Family.

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