The Test Of Time

If you want to know whether or not you're really in love, give it the test of time. I'm Dr. James Dobson with Focus on the Family.

Infatuation is the name we give to that first bright burst of attraction between two people. It sets our pulses racing, and it makes us think of clouds and fireworks, and stories that end in "happily ever after." And there's no doubt that infatuation looks and feels very much like love; the only problem is it doesn't last.

It's a quick, emotional high, with no commitment behind it. And when it runs its course, we find ourselves back where we started, with little or nothing to show for the experience. How then can we distinguish real love from temporary attraction? If the feeling is unreliable, how can we measure the commitment of the will?

There's only one answer to that question. It takes time. The best advice I can offer a couple contemplating marriage, or any other important issue, is this. Make no important life-shaping decisions quickly or impulsively. Measure your motivation carefully, and when in doubt, stall for time. Give your emotions a chance to evolve and oscillate.

If your love is real, it can handle the wait, and your relationship will be all the stronger for the seasoning of an unhurried foundation. This is Dr. James Dobson for Focus on the Family.

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