Rebuilding Marriage with Bonding Steps

Sometimes re-enacting the first stages of a dating relationship can help rekindle the fires in marriage. I'm Dr. James Dobson with Focus on the Family.

According to Dr. Desmond Morris and Dr. Donald Joy, there are twelve stages to marital bonding that cement us together as a husband and wife. They progress from the least intimate to the most intimate - from simple eye contact to sexual fulfillment itself. Unfortunately, many of us neglect the early stages that drew us together in the beginning.

Consider eye contact for example. How does the typical American couple spend an evening at home? Watching television? -- both sets of eyes glued to the screen. Maybe they're not even in the same room together. There's not much opportunity for eye contact there.

The next step in the bonding process is touching. The first time a man and woman touch can be an electric moment. But does touching continue on a daily basis during married life? Usually not. That's when the blossom of love can start to fade.

What can we do when our relationship lacks romance? Dr. Joy suggests going back to the basics - the early bonding stages of dating. Eye contact. Touch. Holding hands. Giving unexpected hugs. These are the experiences that convey a sentiment that words can't express. I'm Dr. James Dobson for Focus on the Family.

Copyright © 1992 Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995, U.S.A. All Rights Reserved. International Copyright Secured.

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