Q&A: Balancing between being a spouse and a parent

Question:

My husband and I recently learned that we’re expecting. We’re thrilled, but I’m also afraid that the demands of a baby will cause us to neglect each other and our relationship. Do you have any advice for us?

Answer: First of all, congratulations! That is very exciting.

No one is perfectly prepared for having children. The key is to learn how to balance being a parent and a spouse, and specifically, learning each other’s love language. Our love language is those things that our mate does which make us feel loved or cared for. Not everyone’s language is the same, and that may be true for you and your husband.

One simple way to discover your mate’s love language is by asking what they need to feel loved. We use the phrase: “I feel loved when you . . . ” Make your love language specific and measurable. Instead of saying “I want intimacy,” say, “I need you to say you love me at least once a day,” “Let’s make love twice a week,” or “I need you to ask me about my day.” It’s also critical that you follow up. On a regular basis, ask each other: “On a scale from zero to ten, how have I done this week in making you feel loved according to your unique needs?”

As you look forward to growing your family, remember that the best way to love your child is to love your spouse. By discovering your mate’s love language, you’ll be better equipped to meet the exciting challenges awaiting you.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.  

Share

MORE

MARRIAGE

Date Night Tips

You know dating your spouse is good for your marriage. It’s time to save the date! Do something fun together, just the two of you.

Read More >

Sexual Needs: His & Hers

Marital intimacy is often hindered by poor communication, unmet expectations, and resentment. Learn how to meet your spouse’s needs in the area of marital intimacy.

Read More >

PARENTING

Q&A: Disciplining Children

Parenthood can be frustrating, especially when you don’t have a game plan. Explore how you can effectively raise disciplined children with 6 guidelines to discipline and a healthy parenting approach.

Read More >

Delighting in Your Child

No matter how you express “I love you” to your children, it doesn’t mean much unless it reassures them that you really do. Delight in your child by choosing a new attitude today.

Read More >

FAMILY Q&A