Q&A: Building a lifelong marriage

Q: As newlyweds, what can my spouse and I do to ensure that our marriage will last a lifetime?

A: To begin with, believe that it’s possible. A growing number of people today have such bad attitudes about marriage that they go into it – if they get married at all – expecting the worst. This is tragic, since fears and negative expectations have a way of becoming self-fulfilling.

So set your hearts and minds in a positive direction. If you do, we’re confident that your marriage can beat the odds of today’s sorry statistics. After all, many psychologists believe that the greatest predictor of a lasting marriage is a commitment to marriage itself.

You can maintain that attitude by remembering that marriage is a relationship, not a possession. Yes, we do say “my wife” and “my husband,” but that’s simply a way of setting boundaries for others outside your marriage to recognise and respect. It’s all yours – to protect and nourish. Look at your marriage as the one of the longest relationships you’ll ever experience on purpose, and you’ll be well on your way to reaching the goal.

It’s also important to keep your faith strong and vibrant. The deeper your relationship with God, the more motivation you’ll have to love and cherish one another. Faith produces gracious attitudes and kindly behaviour. A good sense of humour doesn’t hurt either.

For more ideas to help you on the journey, explore our Resources.

Again, husbands and wives who have made a journey of many years together know that theirs is a marriage of more than mere pleasure or convenience; it’s a commitment in which divorce has never been considered an option. We wish you all the best.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

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