Q&A: Doing same things out of obligation

Q: My marriage is in a rut. I do the same things for my wife over and over, like flowers on Valentine’s Day, more out of obligation than anything else. How can I change my mindset?

A: Most of us have many things we do every day out of obligation, and relatively few that are defined by passion. Obviously, as adults, we perform a variety of daily tasks because some things simply have to get done. But our responsibilities too often overshadow our deeper passions. And that’s where problems can begin. Duty and obligation are like bread and water — they allow us to survive, but that’s it. In order to really thrive, we need passion.

So it goes with marriage. We marry for love, romance, and dreams. But the practical demands of life often overtake us.  Before long, intimacy is replaced by busyness, and the passion we once knew can get lost to the duty of jobs and laundry and the paying of bills.

The good news? Passion can be restored to your marriage.  It can be as simple as spending a few minutes sitting on the couch and talking with your wife about the events of the day.  Or holding hands on a walk together. Discover (or rediscover) your respective “love languages” and adjust your interaction accordingly. Find ways to connect with your wife’s heart and watch her, and your marriage, come alive with passion. For tips and ideas, explore our Articles.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

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