Q&A: Grieving a miscarriage

Q: Is it normal to deeply grieve a miscarriage? My husband and I suffered one, and we’re surprised at how devastating it’s been for us.

A: You’ve just experienced a genuine loss – a deeply meaningful loss. It would be surprising if you didn’t feel as if the rug had been pulled out from under you. 

When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage, a woman and her spouse usually experience a wide variety of turbulent emotions. According to mental health professionals, you may feel guilty, as if the miscarriage were somehow your fault. Your mind may default to denial and cling to the possibility that you’re actually still pregnant. Depression and mood swings are common. Anger can become a mask for grief. Jealousy toward pregnant women or new mothers may be a problem, causing you to withdraw from social contacts. Eventually, you’ll probably experience a combination of these symptoms, spinning through a recurring cycle of grief, shock, denial, anger, depression, detachment, and mental “bargaining” with God.

Whether they’re experienced immediately or at some point later on, the emotional and physiological responses to a miscarriage are the same as those involving any significant loss. As with any loss, it’s important to ride the cycle of grief out to its natural conclusion – that of accepting the reality of the situation. 

For healing to occur, you and your spouse need to give and receive permission to fully grieve. If this doesn’t happen, you can get “stuck” in the denial stage, mired in a morass of depression and repressed emotions. This in turn can have a detrimental effect on your overall spiritual, emotional, and physical health. If you need help working through the cycle of grief, please don’t hesitate to call our Family Support Services at 03-7954 7920 or write to support@family.org.my for a referral.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

Share

Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

MORE

MARRIAGE

Family Financial Fitness

The New Year is here! You know what that means. Time to face your financial woes and set new financial goals. Fret not! Here are 6 easy steps to help you be intentional and proactive in developing a workable budget plan.

Read More >

PARENTING

article-showing-grace-family-close-quarters

Back-to-School Blues

Children have many reasons to dread going back to school, and some are worth paying attention to. Find out how you can help your child develop positive habits to combat back-to-school worries.

Read More >
10-steps-better-sleep-family

10 Steps for Better Sleep For Your Family

Good sleep is essential to maintaining physical, emotional, spiritual and social health. However, many people are seriously sleep deprived. Dr. Meg Meeker discusses the benefits of getting good sleep and some of the potential problems parents and kids may experience if they don’t get enough rest at night.

Read More >

The Real Job of Mums

What is a mum’s primary job? A nurturing mum goes beyond being the “maintenance person” in the family. She demonstrates by example how to explore life with zest and express the unique gifts of her child.

Read More >

FAMILY Q&A