Q&A: Having an emotional affair on Internet

Question:

I just found out my wife has been having an emotional affair over the internet. I’m devastated. She’s having a hard time letting this other man go. I want to place some boundaries on her external relationships and gain trust again. How can we rebuild our marriage?

Answer: We’re sorry to hear about this painful situation. Certainly, your wife needs to decide whether she’ll commit to you or continue contact with this other man. But until she makes that decision, you need to take care of yourself. Your real fight is to keep your heart open to her. And to do this, you need the support of close friends or a counsellor. You need to talk about your pain and emotions. These are not “gripe” sessions. Talking with trusted confidants will help you keep your heart open and think through your decisions.

Once your own support network is in place, you’ll be prepared to ask your wife a direct question: “Are you or are you not willing to work with me to save this marriage?” If she’s willing, she has only one choice: to cut off all contact with the other man.

As you grapple with the fallout, make every effort not to give in to the extremes of “all my fault” or “all your fault” thinking. Don’t insist on knowing why your wife has been having an affair. Instead, ensure that she’s willing to start over.

Most importantly, you and your wife need to seek out a counsellor. Please do not hesitate to call our Family Support Services at 03-3310 0792 or write to support@family.org.my.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

Share

MORE

MARRIAGE

Marriage

PARENTING

Life Adventure With My Son

As an Assistant Director (School Division) in the Ministry of Education, my work takes me away from home on a regular basis for as long as 10 days a month. I’m a father to an only son, Hilmi, who is now 18-years old. He used to call me “ibu” (mom) because he spent most of his time with his mother.

Read More >

Parenting

FAMILY Q&A

Q&A: Making time for chores

The pace of life has hit high gear with school now in full swing. With the children’s endless activities and homework requirements, I sometimes wonder if they should have the added burden of doing chores. What do you think?

Read More >

Q&A: Making friends from the opposite sex

I’m a woman who has been happily married for six years. I have several close “guy buddies” at work, and I know my husband is in a similar setting with some women at his workplace. My male friends get a little flirty with me sometimes, and I’m sure it’s the same for my husband. As long as nothing happens, it’s all harmless, right?

Read More >

Q&A