Q&A: Helping grandson control his anger


Our 9-year-old grandson is a great boy but has a problem with anger. He begins to wrestle in fun with his siblings and then something triggers in him and he becomes extremely angry. As he gets older it seems to get worse. Is there something you would recommend to help him control his anger?

Answer: It’s encouraging to see grandparents so interested in their grandchildren’s character development. Your grandson’s mum and dad bear the primary responsibility for helping him manage his anger, but there are steps you can take as well.

Author Lynne Thompson has written about “Anger Busters for Kids.” See if you can incorporate some of the following into your interactions with your grandson:

  1. Model anger management. Don’t respond to his angry outbursts with angry outbursts of your own.
  2. Show respect. Don’t participate by calling names or getting physical.
  3. Give him words to express his anger. “I know you are disappointed, or sad or frustrated.”
  4. Identify with his pain. “I remember when I didn’t get to go to a party…”
  5. Set positive limits. Instead of saying, “Don’t you throw that toy,” say, “After you put the toy on the table, we can go have a snack.”
  6. Redirect energy bursts that often come with anger. Encourage positive outlets like running, jumping, or painting.
  7. Avoid power struggles. If your goal is to control, you will teach him to control others.
  8. Provide a cooling-off period by reading a book together or going on a walk. Then calmly discuss what happened and make a plan for next time.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.




Q&A: Unemployed adult child moving in with us

My son just lost his job. While they get back on their feet, he and his family will be moving in with us starting next month. We’re excited to have them around for a while – but also a bit apprehensive. How can we maintain good relationships during this time?

Read More >



The Perfect 10 Marriage

Hear from these six couples from six different countries, along with Dr Greg and Erin Smalley, as they share their unique marriage experiences, and discuss 5 key areas in marriage.

Read More >

Shared Enjoyable Activities

The reality is that passion naturally dims over time for most married couples. Love doesn’t necessarily lessen, but the way it’s shown gets watered down. So, how can you avoid that fade?

Read More >



Q&A: Getting my husband to help with chores

How can I get my husband to help keep the house clean? I never noticed that he was a “messie” before we were married. Since I’m the one who likes the house clean and orderly, I’m the one who picks up after him and does all the housework. I’m getting tired of it; what should I do?

Read More >

Q&A: Managing financial tension

My fiancé and I are excited to be planning our wedding, but we’re already starting to encounter some tension as we talk about budgeting for the ceremony – much less how we’ll manage our finances once we’re married. Do you have any advice?

Read More >