Question:

My husband and I are trying to do regular date nights, but it seems like we always end up talking (even arguing) about problems at home instead of having fun and enjoying each other’s company. How can we keep our dates on track?

Answer: Many of us struggle with this. It can be hard to carve out time for a date. So, once you’re together, issues that are at the top of your mind tend to come up. Before you know it, what could have been an evening of fun and connection becomes an argument. By the end of the date, instead of emotionally connecting, husband and wife have drifted apart.

It’s important to avoid the temptation to “administrate” your marriage rather than to enjoy one another’s company. Every marriage has real issues that need to be addressed from time to time. Maybe it’s discipline problems with children, financial challenges, or communication struggles. There’s a time and place to confront those challenges, but not on date nights. Keep your dates fun, exciting, and conflict-free.

The best way to do this is proactively plan your date night activities. Have specific things in mind to do, and keep to the script. You might even think back “pre-marriage” to when you were first dating, and revisit some of your favourite conversations and memories.

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