Q&A: Making marriage a priority

Question:

How can I keep marriage a priority when it takes everything I’ve got to keep the household running? Being a stay-at-home mum of small children isn’t easy, but I don’t want to neglect my husband.

Answer: There are many women who can relate to your frustrations. For all its joys, keeping up with young children can be a daunting challenge, too. No one could fault you for being physically and emotionally spent by the time your husband arrives home at the end of the day.

Nevertheless, as you know, your marriage is vitally important. It’s the foundation on which your children’s welfare depends. Here are a few suggestions for keeping the romance alive in spite of the stresses of parenthood.

When your husband comes home from work, let him know that you’re happy to see him. Don’t greet him with a laundry list of complaints or “honey-do’s” before he’s crossed the threshold. Demonstrate your love with a heartfelt embrace. Don’t allow the children or the family pet to be the most excited ones to see him. Give him a few moments to unwind if possible. And even when you’re exhausted, make an effort to show interest in his world. Do you know what’s happening at his workplace? He’ll feel affirmed if you’re as interested in his day’s events as you would like him to be in yours.

Also, schedule some uninterrupted “couple time.” Take the initiative to clear a night, arrange childcare and make some plans. You don’t have to wait for your husband to get the ball rolling. Regular “date nights” are critical. Finally, remember that men are affirmed by a positive sexual response from their wives, just as women are by thoughtful gestures from their husbands. Your husband will feel loved and honoured when you initiate sex, especially if he realises that you’ve had to plan carefully for intimate time with him at the end of a busy, tiring day.

This article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia and the Questions and Answers are extracted from Complete Family and Marriage Home Reference Guide with permission.