Q&A: Making marriage work in spite of unemployment

Question:

My wife and I have been married for 30 years but we are struggling. We’ve been under a lot of stress over the last year due to finances, and I’ve been unable to find a job. What can I do to show her that I love her and want to make our marriage work? I feel like she has given up hope in our relationship and situation.

Answer: We’re sorry to learn of your predicament. As you’ve discovered, unemployment can present formidable challenges to your marriage.

When it comes to finding gainful employment, it may be time for drastic measures. Even if you find a job that seems menial and unfulfilling, it might be necessary to take it for the time being. Also, consider the possibility of relocating. If you have to move, you can look at it as a fresh start and an opportunity for you and your wife to nurture your relationship away from the demands of family and friends.

Indeed, the damage to your marital relationship is of even more pressing concern than your unemployment. You may not feel like it, but go out of your way to have fun and keep things “light”-it’s crucial to keep up your morale while waiting for circumstances to improve. A cheerful, positive attitude will go a long way in a situation like this.

Also, although you may not feel like your finances can handle it right now, we urge you and your wife to seek counselling.

You can start by calling our Family Support Services at 03-3310 0792 or write to support@family.org.my. Losing a job is hard, but don’t let it rob you of the gift of your marriage. If you and your wife are to weather this storm, you need to be on the same team.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

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