Q&A: Recapture the spark in our marriage

Q: My husband and I have been married nearly 20 years, and frankly the relationship has become somewhat stale and even boring. It seems like we’re basically just going through the motions. We don’t want a long checklist, but do you have one suggestion for something we can do to help?

A: Someone once asked author Ted Cunningham: “What’s the best advice you ever got on marriage?” His reply was short and to the point: “That’s easy – lighten up and laugh!”

Why do you suppose Ted’s thoughts jumped immediately to the importance of humour and light-heartedness? It’s because life in this world can be a grind. Our daily routines are rarely easy and, at times, they’re even marked by tragedy. All of us need opportunities to stop for rest and refreshment along the way. Retreats and oases are absolutely indispensable to life’s journey. And we firmly believe that marriage ought to be one of them.

Now, we know what you’re probably thinking at this point: “My marriage? An oasis?” But this is precisely what it can be – if you take the time to grease the skids with healthy doses of laughter. A couple’s role is not to squash all the good moments, but to share them with each other. Remember – the two of you married because, once upon a time, you actually looked forward to being together!

So if you feel like you’ve lost that spark, make an effort to recapture it. Fan the flames again. If you can do that – if you can lighten up, laugh, and enjoy the journey together – you’re halfway toward achieving genuine marital success. And, in the process, we predict you’ll eliminate much of the monotony and boredom that have characterised your “daily grind” in the first place.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

Share

Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

MORE

MARRIAGE

Family Financial Fitness

The New Year is here! You know what that means. Time to face your financial woes and set new financial goals. Fret not! Here are 6 easy steps to help you be intentional and proactive in developing a workable budget plan.

Read More >
article-m-Warning-Signs-Of-An-Affair

Warning Signs Of An Affair

Can you recognise the symptoms of a troubled marriage? Most extramarital affairs do not start out with the candid revelations, but there are certainly overt factors that can lead to marital unfaithfulness.

Read More >

PARENTING

Behaviour and Consequences

Correcting bad behaviour needs to start in the early years. Train your children up for the real world by disciplining them with the effective use of positive and negative consequences.

Read More >

Back-To-School Challenges

The weeks leading up to the start of school can be unnerving for both children and their parents. Discover 3 ways to confidently help your children make it through “new school year anxiety”.

Read More >

20 Guilt-Free Resolutions

If you’re anything like us, you’ve finally crossed off your remaining New Year’s resolution from last year – because you admit you’ll never do it. This year, don’t reach for the impossible, try our 20 guilt-free resolutions for parents!

Read More >

FAMILY Q&A