Q&A: Venting about marriage on social media

Q: Is there anything wrong with seeking support from my Facebook friends when I need to “vent” about my marriage? Sometimes I get frustrated and upset with my spouse, and feel like I need to express my feelings to someone who cares and understands.

A: Everyone needs to “vent” once in a while, and there’s a place for it in any relationship. But that place isn’t Facebook. If you air your dirty laundry in an open forum, you’ll only hurt your marriage and destroy trust between you and your spouse.  

Because “venting” is intensely personal, it should be done only with someone you trust, who understands your situation, and who has a personal interest in the emotions you’re experiencing. The purpose is to get your feelings out in the open so that you can take a second look at them, view them more impersonally, and evaluate them. This is an important part of the process of communicating with loved ones, setting and re-adjusting goals, and making necessary changes. But it should only be done in a private setting with a trusted confidant. 

If you need to vent, take it off-line. If the two of you find it difficult to communicate, locate a marriage counsellor who can help you work through your issues. If you need to let someone else know what’s going on, open your heart to a mentor, a parent, a sibling, or a close friend. Don’t make yourself vulnerable with anyone but a person you know you can trust. As for your Facebook “friends,” you can let them know that you need prayer without discussing any details. That’s as much information as they need. 

To help you navigate through this issue, don’t hesitate to contact our Family Support Services at 03-7954 7920 or write to support@family.org.my.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

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