Question:
Several times you’ve suggested that pornography is detrimental to individuals who engage with it. I can understand if you want to make this a moral issue, but personally, I don’t see how it negatively impacts the person who consumes it. Where’s the harm?
Answer: The most obvious evidence may be seen in the increase in sexual addictions that has accompanied the digital age and its corresponding easy access to and proliferation of porn. Sexual addictions of every kind have become widespread, affecting men and women, boys and girls, from every age group and all walks of life.
We are designed with a basic human craving for relationships, and all of us are wired with the need to connect. Unfortunately, pornography offers a counterfeit and distorted form of intimacy and attachment. In fact, Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow, co-founders of Authentic Intimacy, report that married couples under thirty years of age are facing intimacy challenges that previous generations never had to confront – and a common, significant factor is pornography.
Many of today’s young men have been “raised” on porn and have become accustomed to the instant sexual gratification it provides. As a result, they often don’t know how to build an authentic sexual relationship with their wives. Or they may not want to invest the effort needed to achieve true physical intimacy, especially since women generally require time to respond, and men can interpret it as a personal failure when they don’t. That’s not to mention the sense of rejection and betrayal experienced by a wife or husband whose spouse is hooked on porn.
Recovery isn’t easy, and it takes time and hard work to develop healthy relationships. But help is available. Please give our Family Support Services a call at 03-3310 0792 or write to support@family.org.my.
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