Q&A: Working as a team in our marriage

Question:

My wife and I have been married a little over two years, and we’re really struggling with balancing our differences. We want to work as a team, but I think we’re each afraid of losing our own identity in the process. How can we reach a happy medium?

Answer: There’s no doubt about it, marriage is a paradox. Consider this: For a relationship to be successful, couples have to limit their independence. But at the same time, they have to thrive as individuals. 

A good marriage takes the active involvement of two people – the husband and the wife. On your own, you may have all the talent you need to be a roaring success in your career. But, in marriage, unless you work together with your spouse, your relationship is going to flounder. When two people each let go of some of their personal ambitions for the sake of the relationship, the bond between them will strengthen.

But that’s just one side of the coin. The other is that the more connected you and your spouse become, the more important it is that you grow as individuals. Why? Because a healthy marriage consists of two unique people who can stand on their own. Entering marriage doesn’t mean you suddenly stop being who you are. It’s just the opposite. You bring yourself into your marriage, so it’s important to become the best “you” you can be. As a matter of fact, it’s those differences that help make a good marriage truly great.

So, should your marriage bring you and your spouse together as one? Or should the two of you be strong individuals? The answer is “yes”! That’s the paradox of marriage.

To grow and thrive in both ways, explore our Articles.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

Share

MORE

MARRIAGE

Cherishing Your Spouse

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Your spouse is your treasure; you’ve searched high and low and found each other, so cherish your treasure.

Read More >

Making Marriage Work

Marriage is not an event but a process. Men and women are different in many ways, and that will affect how marriage works. Learn the difference and similarities between men and women that can influence marriage.

Read More >

PARENTING

Behaviour and Consequences

Correcting bad behaviour needs to start in the early years. Train your children up for the real world by disciplining them with the effective use of positive and negative consequences.

Read More >

Your Chores or Mine?

It can get pretty frustrating when children refuse to do their chores. Heather Beers shares her brilliant idea to successfully convince children to get the chores done, improve their attitudes, and even check things off your to-do list, all at once.

Read More >

FAMILY Q&A