Ever heard, “Already married, still need to date ah?”
Ninety-nine percent of us have either heard or asked that “upgrade” question at family reunions or when catching up with friends: “When are you going to start dating?” Or, “When are you going to get married?” But how often do you hear, “Are you still dating your spouse?” Contrary to popular opinion, married couples should still go on dates. In fact, they probably need to date each other even more than they realise!
Dating may be viewed as a mundane activity, an expensive treat, or a necessary chore, especially when life gets busy. The butterflies are long gone and so has the romance. But, it doesn’t have to be this way! Read on to make the best of your dating experience as a married couple and reignite that spark.
First, leave your problems at the door
Your spouse is trying to get in the mood, but you have 101 things running through your head. Connecting with your spouse in that state would turn what could be a memorable date into a problem loading, problem solving session. (You know who you are…) Give yourself permission to take a break from your troubles and focus on connecting with your spouse, heart-to-heart, and attend to the problems later.
Be curious as a cat
What was the last new thing you learned about your spouse? Can’t remember? Switch on curiosity mode and find out. At your next date, ask your spouse, “What is something new about you that I don’t know, or something on your bucket list that you’ve never talked about?” You might be pleasantly surprised to discover something as simple as, “I enjoy cloud watching,” or something a little more adventurous, like “I’d like to go parasailing.” Make it a date. Do it together.
Add on sugar, spice, and everything nice!
Malaysians love seasoning our food to sweeten it, spice it up, or give it a tangy taste. What would that look like in a marriage? If you and your spouse feel your relationship is getting rather bland, and find yourselves longing for a closer connection, take a cue from chefs and inject some sugar, spice and all things nice into your relationship. Hop back into the dating scene with each other.
Sugar: Write a love letter to each other, go overboard with sweet praises and extravagant appreciation for each other.
Spice: Drive further than you normally would or try an unknown restaurant, without checking Google reviews!
Nice: Surprise your spouse (and yourself!) with a specially curated date night that takes away the stress of figuring out what to do or the pressure to make it memorable.
Related: Our Date Night programme is more than just a meal together! ✨ It’s a fun and meaningful experience specially designed just for couples to show up, enjoy, and focus on each other. Register now!
Now, back to our first question, “Already married, still need to date ah?”
YES! Uninterrupted and intentional time together as a married couple is the backbone of your marriage. And if you have children, they too will reap the benefits of having loving and connected parents.
Wait no more. Mark your calendars and start with the first date, with many more to come!
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