Question:

I admit I’m a workaholic. This coming year, I want to be more involved with my wife and children and less distracted by business concerns, but I fear I’ve lost the ability to jump off the treadmill and leave the rat-race behind. Any suggestions?

Answer: Clearly identifying our priorities helps us gain a sense of focus, so we’d suggest that you first reflect on what (read: who) matters most to you. Short of making some major changes to your lifestyle – which may perhaps be worth considering in the long run – the key is to learn what it takes for you to shift gears, slow down, and mentally change locations.

You can probably find some personal “rituals” to perform in order to shake off your work-based identity and leave your “office self” behind. (For instance: set boundaries for yourself regarding after-hours work e-mail, etc.). The goal is that when you’re at home, you’re fully present in the moment with your spouse and children.

When you arrive at your house each evening, we’d encourage you to first sit down with your wife and talk quietly for a few minutes before engaging with the children or the TV. You might even go to your bedroom and change clothes, both literally and figuratively. By mentally assuming the attitude and demeanour of a loving husband and caring father, just as you would put on a comfortable old shirt, you can make yourself at home – one hundred per cent. Concentrate on the moment and let business worries take care of themselves.

If we can help you through the process, please call our Family Support Services at 03-3310 0792 or write to support@family.org.my.

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