Q&A: Overcoming difficulty in our marriage

Q: My husband and I are having some real difficulties in our marriage. We want to fix things, but we’re overwhelmed trying to figure out how. Help?!

A: When your marriage is in crisis, it can be overwhelming. You and your spouse probably have a lengthy list of complaints about one another, and neither of you knows how to resolve them – or if you should even try. We’d humbly suggest that you don’t begin with the “how”; start with the “why.”

The “how” details are important, of course, because we do need practical solutions to our problems. But the mechanics of fixing a relationship won’t typically breathe life back into your marriage.

So, in addition to the nuts and bolts, give special attention to the why. Think (and talk) about why you fell in love in the first place. What were the dreams you once held for your relationship together? What do you hope your marriage could look like if it were healthy and whole?

Answers to the “why” questions are what revive desire between a husband and wife. They also motivate couples to work hard at healing their relationship. As the well-known saying goes, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

Once you have that foundation re-established, then work on the “how.” For help with rebuilding your marriage, explore our Resources.

For couples on the brink of divorce, take heart – there is hope for reconciliation. To speak with someone from our Family Support Services, call us at 03-7954 7920 or write to support@family.org.my.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

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