Q&A: Arguing about little chores

Q: My wife and I generally get along great, but I’m surprised how much we argue about little chores around the house. Is this normal?

A: When couples are asked about stress points in marriage, things like children and finances usually come up first. But studies show that household chores rank third on that list!

It’s easy to understand how something as simple as housework can fuel conflict in a marriage. Life gets busy for couples. Before long, they’re each focused on the tasks they care about, while forgetting the burdens their spouse is carrying. The next thing you know they’re locked in power struggles over who does more and who works harder.

We’d encourage you to try to change your mind-set, and remind yourselves you’re on the same team. The household chores should benefit your relationship, not tear it down. In fact, instead of arguing over who does more, what would happen if you each tried to “out serve” one another?

There are also practical ways to avoid conflict. Say a particular chore is your spouse’s responsibility. Don’t dictate how and when they do it just because that’s when you think it ought to be done. And don’t forget to leave some room for individual preferences. Even though you’d prefer the bed be made each morning, is that really an issue important enough to come between you?

As with any other area of your marriage, sorting out the housework is all about connection and communication. We encourage you to prioritise honouring one another and finding some common ground.

© 2018 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission.


Share on facebook
Share on whatsapp
Share on email




Warning Signs Of An Affair

Can you recognise the symptoms of a troubled marriage? Most extramarital affairs do not start out with the candid revelations, but there are certainly overt factors that can lead to marital unfaithfulness.

Read More >


20 Guilt-Free Resolutions

If you’re anything like us, you’ve finally crossed off your remaining New Year’s resolution from last year – because you admit you’ll never do it. This year, don’t reach for the impossible, try our 20 guilt-free resolutions for parents!

Read More >

Behaviour and Consequences

Correcting bad behaviour needs to start in the early years. Train your children up for the real world by disciplining them with the effective use of positive and negative consequences.

Read More >

The Involved Father

Fathers are just as essential to healthy child development as mothers. Identify 7 compelling ways that a father’s involvement makes a positive difference in a child’s life.

Read More >