Q&A: Honouring my spouse better

Q: After 15 years of marriage, I’m starting to realise that I take my wife for granted. I want to start honouring her better, but I’m not sure where to start.

A: Here’s an illustration that might come as a surprise: ballet. A famous Russian choreographer once said, “The ballet is woman.” What he meant is that the beauty of the dance is primarily captured by a woman’s grace, her strength, and her expression of beauty through the language of movement.

The male ballet dancer’s primary role is to showcase his female partner. When he lifts her and twirls her, she should glow in the spotlight and wow the audience. When he uses his strength to support her through her most difficult steps, he helps her achieve more from her performance than she could on her own. Then, while the audience rewards her with a thunderous standing ovation, the male dancer steps back into the shadows while she is celebrated and adored.

What if we husbands adopted that same attitude toward our wives? What if men asked themselves, “How can I showcase my wife and honour her? How can I support her so that other people see the beautiful woman that I see? How can I bring out the best in her?” Don’t just love your wife, cherish her.

We agree with the dancer who said, “My job is to make the beautiful yet more beautiful.” We think that’s the job of every husband as well.

This article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia and the Questions and Answers are extracted from “Complete Family and Marriage Home Reference Guide” by Dr. James Dobson with permission.


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